Come and resolve any issues say what you have to say, do what you have to do.” I always tell families to try not to have any regrets at the end. “As a part of the dying process, the person’s health starts declining and his or her ability to communicate with other people also declines. “I always encourage families, if they have the ability, to come and visit their dying loved one. Try to stay open to hear what others have to say and acknowledge how they feel.” ![]() ![]() “Get everyone in the same room together, or on a call together, so everyone hears the same information about their loved one’s care,” she explained. Additionally, each person has his/her own unique relationship with the terminally ill individual, potentially making the situation even more complicated.Ĭathy suggests the best way to stay focused on your loved one is to engage in clear communication, active listening, mutual respect and setting expectations among all caregivers. When multiple family members are separated by distance or have different ideas about the care they have each envisioned for their loved one, many issues can arise. Having family roles defined before a crisis can help provide a clearer vision to carry out your loved one’s wishes to the end. By doing so, individuals and their loved ones are able to have tough conversations well before the directive is actually needed.įor families who share the caregiving responsibilities, it may also be helpful to identify who will handle other important items, such as hands-on care, finances, long-term living arrangements and funeral planning, for your terminally ill loved one. “I like to offer scenarios for families and reframe the situation to help families see the big picture.”Īdvance directives are not just for the elderly anyone 18 years and older should complete an advance directive. “It’s a lot of support and encouragement for the person who is tasked with following the loved one’s wishes,” she said. Hospice of the Red River Valley Social Worker Cathy Miller shares how she helps family members work through end-of-life discussions. Discuss important topics, such as: What is your loved one’s ultimate goal for the end of his or her life? How does your loved one measure quality of life? This includes discussing aggressive treatment versus comfort care. Part of the conversation with a loved one should include completing an advance directive and identifying someone (medical power of attorney) who can speak on your behalf to ensure your health care wishes are being followed if you’re unable to speak for yourself.Īn advance directive is a written statement of your wishes, preferences, goals and values regarding end-of-life health care decisions. None of us can predict when our final day will arrive, but we can engage now in uncomfortable conversations with our loved ones to explore their end-of-life wishes and goals. Death comes in its own way, in its own time. ![]() Plan AheadĪccording to The Conversation Project, 90 percent of people believe talking with their loved ones about end-of-life care is important, but only 27 percent have actually done so. ![]() This article highlights four strategies to help you work through challenging family dynamics when a loved one is terminally ill. Unmanaged expectations and feelings often create tension and unnecessary hardship between otherwise well-intended family members during a delicate time. Although everyone involved in caregiving may have the best intentions, each person approaches a crisis situation differently, and this will affect your love one’s end-of-life journey. When we love deeply, our emotional reactions to situations involving those who are closest to us can become that much more intense in stressful circumstances. Family dynamics can play a significant role in helping-or potentially hindering-end-of-life care considerations for the person facing a life-limiting illness. There’s no doubt, determining the best care for a terminally-ill loved one can be daunting and incredibly taxing, especially when multiple family members and caregivers are involved.
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